Advice From Abraham Lincoln and A Millennial Girl

Do not worry; eat 3 square meals a day; say your prayers;
be courteous to your creditors; keep your digestion good;
exercise; go slow and easy.
Maybe there are other things your special case requires
to make you happy, but my friend,
these I reckon will give you a good lift.
~ Abraham Lincoln

President Abraham Lincoln is one of my heroes. I have a lot of respect for the man. If it were possible to ask him for forgiveness for what I am about to do, I would. I have taken his good advice, as listed above, and added comments to make it the 21st century version. Pardon my wacky sense of humor.

Do not worry (easy for you to say);
eat 3 square meals a day (does getting something from the vending machine count?);
say your prayers (I do. They all sound the same: Why me, Lord?);
be courteous to your creditors (It’s awfully hard to be polite when they call several times a day.);
keep your digestion good (God bless Tums!);
exercise (Does walking through the mall while shopping count?);
go slow and easy (I have to because my arthritic knees don’t move so fast).
Maybe there are other things (like Prozac and Valium) that your special case requires to make you happy,
but, my friend, (My friend? Do I know you?)
these I reckon will give you a good lift. (Did someone call for a taxi?)

~ Abraham Lincoln/A Millennial Girl

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