Mama Says … many things

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The healthier lifestyle and diet (actually known as the Battle of the Bulges) was going pretty well. There is always delightful food around the hospital and that send out vibes that taunt me until I succumb. In reality I have been pretty good and avoided all. But last Friday I fell off the wagon and landed in a big pile if great, but-not-so-good-for-the-diet food. It all started with 3 boxes of fresh doughnuts, one of which was Krispy Kreme, some fat New York style bagels and whipped cream cheese from Einstein’s Bagels sitting right inside the door to the administration office. There were grapes, too, but I only gave them a cursory glance. Who looks at grapes when surrounded by the fattening food of the gods? I was in and out of the admin office multiple times and I stayed firm. Had I not had to go in one last time I wouldn’t have fallen and had a yummy doughnut and a bagel with cream cheese. The temptation was too much. I am weak. I know it, but I am blaming the folks in admin who brought in the stuff. Shame on them! Then I stayed off the wagon over the weekend and stuck my face in a big bag of Peanut M&Ms followed by chocolate cream pie. However, I have dragged myself back onto the wagon and am sticking with it. I had lost 5 pounds, gained a little back, but now by vigorously staying on my health plan, I have since taken off the weight and another pound.

I am still dragging myself through a horrible biography of Agatha Christie. I have put myself on a book diet – I am not allowed to read any other books, except my scriptures, until I finish this dreadful book. I have 120 pages left and if I die first, it will be of boredom, but at least I gave it a valiant try. I can see why it was pulled from the library shelf and put on sale in the used book store. Of course, I walk by and buy it. Bad choice. Because I love her books so much I thought it would be nice to read about what made her tick. Yikes! Take my word for it and spare yourselves the torture. Don’t pick it up ever.

Last but not least, I am sure that most everyone has heard the joke about how many people, psychiatrists, engineers, attorneys, blondes, and on and on, it takes to change a light bulb. Let me give you the county twist on this joke. Actually it is not a joke, because it is true. I have witnessed it several times in the hospital and just have to shake my head. Our tax dollars at work, I mean wasted. Here goes:

How many maintenance guys does it take to inspect something in need of repair? Five older guys, one who is rather portly, one who always wears the same white hat, and the other 3 who are kind of nondescript. They come in as a group, stare at the item in need of repair for a long while, and rub their chins, mull it over, and talk about it. You would think after all of this deliberation the solution would be found and the problem would be fixed. Wrong! These same 5 guys then go on to our empty unit, pull up chairs in a circle, and sit and mull over the issue some more. Once they come to an agreement after that sacred conclave, the item gets repaired, right? Wrong again. Then it takes a conversation with management and on and on. I can suggest a quick solution. Give me a screwdriver or WD-40 or a plunger and I’ll have it done in no time. Which reminds me, I need to pack my can of WD-40 in my work bag for tomorrow. The door to my office is really making some loud whining noises. If I ask maintenance to do it, it’ll take 3 weeks at least!

Today is Patriot Day. We in America hold this as sacred day in remembrance of the people who were and have been impacted by abominable acts of terrorism. I don’t want to forget to say thank you to the brave souls, fireman, police, regular citizens for their bravery on 9/11/2001. Thank you so much for all you did. I wish to offer a prayer for all of those who did not survive the airplane hijackings on that fateful day and for their families members who are still dealing with the losses. God Bless You All!

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