Mama Vicky Says … Let’s revisit Dating 101


Today I drove my daughter to church that was in a different building than our usual chapel. She wanted to visit the Mid-Singles’ Ward. Let me take a couple of lines to tell you how our church works. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. What the Catholics call a parish, we call a ward. A ward is a group of church members who live in a certain geographical area. There are thousands of wards all over the world. Most of the wards are called family wards which people of all ages, lots of married folks with children, or single folks with children, or singles, etc., attend. There are some wards that are set up for single men and women. Daphne used to attend the singles ward that was for folks ages 18 to 30. I, as a single woman, could go to the single adult wards for ages 31 and older, including the very older, if I wanted to. I like my family ward.

Lately the church has started to have what is called a Mid-Singles Ward for available young men and women from the age of 31 to 45. Let me clarify right off the bat that it is not a meat market. It is a chance to worship with people one’s own age. Some people like that. Today we went to check out the ward. Even though I am over the age limit, I am told I look younger than my age, that and Daphne doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift.

We met in an older, smaller building in San Diego that was so cute and in a style somewhat different than our new buildings. The chapel was small compared to the new buildings but I really liked it. It was cozy. Daphne wants to make new friends her age, which is quite reasonable. I was there checking out the men folk to see if there were any good looking ones vs. nerds, and how many men there were. As in life the females outnumber the males by many. I want everyone to know that this was not the reason I went there. I was not scoping out guys because I am determined to find a match for my daughter. I really was there to worship and take the Sacrament. Checking out the men folk was a side issue. I am an equal opportunity person so I want you all to know that I also checked out the women to see how many of them might be close to my daughter’s age and were they friendly. There was a good sized group and Daphne plans to visit next week (I’m the designated driver) and see if this new ward is a fit for her.

But all of this singles’ stuff makes me think back to dating after having my son and ending up on my own. I attended single adult activities and I think I was the youngest one there. I wasn’t out manhunting; I just went to fellowship and have fun. And I did. Though, dances were painful. I did tap and ballet, not ball room dancing. I was worried I would step on my partner’s toes. I had no fear as I was asked to dance once or twice each time and that was with a friend. I was younger then and minus all the extra love handles, but I guess I still wasn’t cute enough. Whatever… I kept going to the singles’ activities but quit going to the dances. Fellow singles I knew got married to someone they met during our singles’ events. That was cool.

Even before then I was unlucky in love or at least in finding a decent looking guy with a job. In college I dated, but I think because I was so shy I was boring and didn’t get asked out on a second date by any of the guys. I was not and to this day definitely still am not a babe magnet.

After college I returned home and worked as the admitting clerk in the emergency room on the PM shift. We had a cab driver who would make blood bank deliveries and would come to the ER to deliver the blood products. We’d talk like I talked to any other person coming to my desk. After a few times of chatting he asked me out and I agreed.

He was friendly and funny and thought a little overweight, was generally a nice looking guy. I forget where we went for our date but we had an enjoyable time. He was an Army veteran and had a limp from a war injury. We must have had an okay time because he asked me to go out with him again. I had a nice time. I hadn’t given him an answer yet as he walked me home.

We were about to cross the street as a car sped by not seeing us or maybe not caring. Had we been further in the street than we were we would have either been injured or road kill. Now the normal average person, like you and I, would have probably shouted “idiot” or “dumbbell” at the driver as he went past. Some people I suppose would have given the driver the bird. My date reacted a bit above the norm. He became very angry and had a few choice words to say. Then he mentioned that those kind of people needed to be shot. Then he informed me that he kept a gun in his glove compartment as protection. I suppose cabbies do have to deal with some scary people. After I saw his temper, though, I didn’t want to be anywhere around a nut with a gun. I could picture him going off the deep end and shooting me.  So, when he asked me for a 2nd date again, I (fearfully) but politely declined. We were pleasant whenever he came into the ER w/ a delivery.  Thank goodness he didn’t press me for a date. I liked my life, thank you very much.

Now my granddaughter, Katie, has some advice to share. She says that boys love girls. I would agree with that statement, but somehow I just picked the wrong ones to date. Now that I am more mature, I don’t intend to date again. Now, if a nice guy wants to fix my dishwasher or paint the house or buy me my dream car, a black T-Top Corvette with gold pin striping, I won’t say “no.”

Now there is a single’s game night coming! To go or not to go, that is the question. Blog you later!

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